what I thought about this weekend

I've been believing in the universe for a couple of years, but it's never occurred to me to speak to the earth.  Ask questions of the sky and draw strength from the ground.  Why didn't I think of that?  Right now I'm thinking only of clarity and focus and presence and pulling it from an icy morning ocean and moments by myself.

I'm spinning my wheels in sugar this week and feeling inconsequential and lost because of it.  It doesn't make me the kindest but eating only exactly what I'd like to keeps me on a path I'm happy with.  Strict rules are strict rules.

You know there's a question of being exactly where you are.  I realized today that I've been happy for a month straight.  I'm here, I'm here, I'm unbearably and astonishingly here.  Certain things concern me - a broadness in my back and the curliness of my hair - but I'm swallowing them and remembering (for once) that I'm hardly the only one that's ever been sad.

I'm with the right people, unquestionably.  I'm surrounded every day with wit and warmth and vibrancy and just the right amount of edge.  I know with a ferocious certainty that I will be here and there and everywhere for these people for years and years to come.