it's all about the bacon.

LiveScience recently posted a list of seven major diet myths, all of which I am so on board with.  People eat in crazy ways and justify it with the most insane 90's psuedo-science.  No matter what, I think it's always best to come back to something unprocessed.  Step away from that low-fat 'chocolate-y' energy bar and towards a handful of almonds.  Fat, for instance, has been largely reviled in our culture - the ultimate demon in the fight against growing waistlines.  However, fat is necessary for a number of essential human functions, including the maintenance of healthy skin and hair, temperature regulation, insulation and shock absorption, and healthy cell function.  Additionally, the vitamins a, d, e, and k are fat soluble, meaning they can only be absorbed by your body when eaten alongside something with a bit of fat in it.  Plus, fat contributes to satiety, or feelings of fullness.  You can blow through three or four of those low-fat energy bars and end up with a sugar buzz and a growling stomach an hour later, or you can have a couple of eggs and some bacon and find yourself skipping lunch by accident.  Plus, food with some healthy fat in it has a proven tendency to be really, really tasty.

So it's up to you, people.  Try a handful of nuts, drizzle some olive oil on your food, or eat some bacon.  Your body was made to run on this kind of stuff, not some packaged half-fat diet wunderz.

pretending.

Besides Hamish Bowles, one of my favourite men is Jonathan Adler.  His marriage notwithstanding, he is amongst the top five loves of my fashion life, mostly because he is an absolute delight.  Also, I think I could stand sharing with Simon Doonan.  Anyways, he once expressed a desire to have a drink named after him: an iced tea with milk was to be the Jonathan Adler.  Well, ice tea with milk is bomb, and only gets better when you do a little tinkering.

Without further ado, I introduce: the Canadian Jonathan Adler.

1 cup of cold tea (try earl grey!)
some milk (really complicated recipe)
some maple syrup
lots and lots of ice
an old jam jar to drink it out of

Like any recipe I've posted here, this one is really complex and involves a lot of ingredients.  Put them in the jam jar.  Drink up.

this would have been a better photo if I didn't drink it all before photographing.

pretend summer is actually here, people.  I'm trying really, really hard.

Arm Party!

Hello, bracelets.  Friendship bracelets, piles of gems, crazy watches, and other wrist-ly accoutrements have been gaining steam in the fashion world for some time now.  Ideally, they come in packs of four or five, best worn by Leandra Medine over at the Man Repeller.  As I aspire to be a man repeller in all of my daily outfit choices, my wrists of late have been stacked high with multiple watches, random strings of beads, old woven bracelets from my camp days, and costume jewelery passed down from my always blinged out grandmother.  These wrists, for instance, are those of my best friend and I, out on a recent morning thrift store shopping.  I bought leopard print harem pants, high-waisted jeans, and a tuxedo blazer.  I am obviously, and decidely, single.

Anyways, this Pamela Love talon cuff is a bit old, but still my favourite thing in the world.  I think it would make the perfect addition to my arm party.  Feel free to gift it to me, readers.

countdown is on.

It's Canada day soon!  That means lots of engagement with our perceived national identity.  I focused a lot of my studies over the course of my degree on conceptions of nationalism and the formation of national feeling, so I tend to be a little suspicious of displays of Canadianism.  Sometimes, though, one just wants to forget school and get down and dirty with being Canadian.  Here are a few of my favourite methods:

1. Caesars!  The American version, a bloody mary, uses tomato juice instead of Clamato, which means they're all crazy.  I prefer my caesars with gin (obviously) and a pickled bean is the best garnish.  So divine, plus they're even red.  You should probably buy the 12oz bottle of gin and refer to it as a mickey, because we're also the only ones who do that.

2. Lululemon.  Um.  Lululemon isn't produced in Canada anymore, even, but it's still a Canadian company, so it's obviously crucial that I buy... some lululemon... to celebrate?  Yep, I think so.

3. Listen to all your favourite Canadian bands!  This includes Gordon Lightfoot, Buck 65, Arcade Fire, Coeur de Pirate, Ron Sexsmith, and Rufus Wainwright.  Radio 2 is my jam, obviously.

4. Use words that confuse Americans.  Wipe your face with a serviette.  Sit on your chesterfield.  Wear a tuque.  Use the washroom.  Lastly, eat a ton of food, including: butter tarts, nanaimo bars, crunchie bars, smarties, and poutine.  Now you're chubby and everyone else is confused.  Excellent start to your day.

5. Lastly, paint your darn face and get yourself to the fireworks and cheer your head off.  Yeah, it's kind of lame but the fireworks actually rock my socks off every year.  Plus you get to make yourself a crazy outfit, which is always a plus.

these are my feelings.

dear shiny lady

The other day a shiny lady in a shiny convertible tried to get my be-bicycled self to turn left in front of her, even though I had a stop sign and she had come to complete halt on a busy road where she definitely did not have a stop sign.  I was in the left turn lane of a quiet side street, waiting to turn onto a four lane road.  It's actually a really easy left for me - there's one of those spots in the middle where you can wait, and nearby lights in both directions mean there's often nice big gaps in traffic.  It was, therefore, somewhat shocking when she came to a complete stop and tried to wave me in front of her as cars came up behind her.  Wait, WHAT?  That is not how traffic works!

One of my biggest pet peeves is when drivers treat helmeted, respectful cyclists like errant pedestrians in need of special treatment.  Treat me like a car, please.  Yes, it's nice if you give me a little extra space, or go out of your way to avoid spraying a puddle in my face.  However, it's both unnecessary and unsafe for you to break the rules of traffic and expect me to do the same to gratify you. 

I realize the shiny lady was just trying to be nice, but she was going about it in all the wrong ways.  Even after I shook my head to her "go in front of me!" gesture, she continued to insist (via complex hand gestures) that I go.  I had my headphones in, though (no I didn't, mom) which make me feel like no one can hear me and I yelled at her.  "I have a STOP SIGN.  YOU have the right of way.  GO."  This included jabbing fingers in the direction of said stop sign.  She threw up her hands, exasperated with my refusal to let her treat me like some toddler on a tricycle, and roared off.

Lessons learned, people.  Treat cyclists like you would any other car, and don't try to make them turn in front of you when you have the right of way, because that just makes everyone uncomfortable and unsure.  Lastly, yelling at strangers in convertibles is kind of fun.  I recommend everyone try it at their soonest convenience.

Un. Impressed.

boy crazy part one.

Okay so Hamish Bowles is my favourite man in the world.  I find myself too lazy unable to ascertain whether or not he's gay, but I don't care.  We will be best friends, and wear colourful socks that just peek out of our impeccable trousers.  He seems awesome, and hilarious, and then I kind of want to hug him, and then I worry because I think that would make both of us uncomfortable.

we also both have crazy glasses.

His job at vogue partly entails going on crazy unfashiony adventures.  Alligator hunting. Surf camp. Urban farming.  Girl does it ALL, and girl does it all in bespoke suits.  He then writes it up into the most amazing articles that are always tinged with hysteria and are the type of funny that makes you grin really big on the inside.

<3 <3 <3

call me, Hamish!

and then you get a snack after.

It's been a long day.  I had a presentation for a long-anticipated group project, which was a bit of headache.  I generally dislike working in groups on school projects.  Trusting other people to show up on time for meetings and put in the level of effort I do is sometimes a bit stressful.  Now that I'm finished with my perpetually disorganized and late group, I'm ready to spend the afternoon writing up the final report and breathe a sigh of relief.

The best antidote to a long day?  CBC Radio 2 and a drink like this one:

 1 oz. gin
6 oz. club soda
a wedge of lime
a bunch of cucumber slices
a whole bunch of ice cubes.

It's a really complicated and sophisticated recipe.  You put everything in a glass together.  It would probably be good with mint instead of lime, too.  Or mint and lime?!  Don't get too crazy!

Did I mention it's sort of hot and sticky out?  That's where the "whole bunch of ice cubes" is handy.

My project was on Colonial India, so this is actually a pretty thematic cocktail.

ANTLERS.

OBSESSION.

Antlers.  In decor.  I'm thinking light-coloured walls and big windows with lots of mullions, maybe french doors.  I have come up with so many uses for them!  You could hang things like tea cups and jewelery on them.  Ugh so good.  The best thing to do, I think, would be to avoid any other references to americana/folksiness/macho-cabin-stuff, because it might be a little too on-the-nose.  But antlers in an otherwise restrained or well-curated room?  Parfait, I say!

Okay, so my obsessions are kind of lame.  Whatever.  You'll thank me one day when your house is tastefully antlered.

kick out your jams/current obsessions.

1. I just invented something that I bet about 3.9 million people have also invented in the past.  Spoon.  Almond Butter.  Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips.  Put it all together.  Then, you get to be really happy for like four minutes while you try to get all the almond butter out of your teeth.  TOO STICKY FOR NIKKI, is what I say.  Amazing.

2. I really need to paint my room.  I want to paint it this colour.  Obviously the paint I want is from this really expensive British paint company that bills itself as heritage and has really nice packaging.  I am such a sucker, and also I am a snob.  Anyways, my furnishings are all dark wood and I feel like I'm going to be living inside a big old-fashioned egg.  It's going to be awesome.

3. It is raining really hard here.  It almost never rains where I live, so everyone is sort of freaking out about the apocalypse, or whatevskis.  I also live in one of the least windy cities on earth.  When I lived in Scotland, I would run and tell my roommates every time there was any kind of weather event.  This got old real fast.  This shit is news here, okay?

4. Ugh this band is so good.  Their wikipedia page describes them as "afropop-influenced guitars with hyperactive drumming and hooky three-part harmonies," which kind of sounds amazing and also kind of makes me want to punch someone.  Anyways, they're catchy without being irritating, and kind of shouty in a harmonic way.  It's happening for me.

5. For whatever reason, I like drinking coffee out of paper cups better than real mugs, so I'm the freak that takes my paper cup home from the coffee shop with me and washes it.  Ugh.  But awesome.  I have this thing where I prefer temporary dishes to real ones, and wash and reuse plastic cups (only clear ones) and cutlery to the point of ridiculousness.  Plastic spoons, especially.

plus killer steez.

irresponsibility.

I just wrote a whole blog post about how I'm too responsible, but it didn't really pan out.  Basically, I wish I could party like these bitches.  Don't you wish, sometimes, that you were the type of person that partied all the time?  My mom thinks I am that person, but that's only because she has it good.  My older brother is the queen of responsibility.

Unfortunately, I have a weak stomach, so alcohol makes me fall asleep and/or throw up.  I'm a lot of fun at a party.  "Um, she got really loud for a bit, and then she fell asleep in my closet."  Hiwannadateme?  I also have been known to ride my bike after a whiskey too many, which leads to things like my currently scraped knee, and my kindest friend Wyatt freaking out a little bit.  (Just kidding, mom.  Like I would ever ride my bike after one whiskey too many.)  Luckily, I always wear a helmet.  See!?  Even in the depths of my irresponsibility, I wear protective headgear.

I am neurotically safe.  I live near an enormous lake, and I am not okay with my friends swimming after drinking, which obviously happens all the time.  I refuse to go outside in the sun without sunscreen.  I always wear my helmet when I bike, even when I'm riding to the bar.  I glare at everyone in flashbacks.  Gotta keep your guard up, people.

There isn't really a lesson here, people.  This ain't no morality play.  I think, this summer, my goal will be to become more irresponsible.  To achieve this goal, I plan to: go on dates with strangers, make friends with new people, drink in the out of doors, go camping for several days at a time near a lake, and get a tan.  You know.  Live a little, or whatever.

hipster party!  time to start condescending, and also stealing jokes.