I remember every walk

It turns out I'm incapable of writing a post that isn't mostly in point form. I have an English degree! I have an honours English degree! I should really be able to write a post with a coherent structure, but no. Lists it is.

What do I want this post to be? A bit of everything, I think.

 Here are my favourite summer moments thus far:

1. Beach bonfire ft. Sangria cooler aka Sashka's birthday party. Let's talk boating with handsomes and beautifuls in the afternoon sun. Let's talk 12 different bottles of wine and three different types of juice in a cooler with so many blueberries. Let's talk old friends, new friends, forever friends, just now friends, and friends you've never met before. Let's talk about mistakes I don't quite regret.

2. Menhattan night. Menhattan is the plural of manhattan, right? Anyways, rye, sweet vermouth, and a maraschino cherry make for a cheerful jili, sean, and taye. The key is really good ice cubes and nice low ball glasses. There's nothing worse than a serious drink in the wrong glass, am I right?

3. Sicamous famjam. Autocorrect changed Sicamous to Sic Amours, which is kind of funny.  Sicamous means I get to spend the nights hanging out with cool b+b guests and drinking wine and the days making caterpillar habitats with the adorables.  Add in my aunt's kitchen skills and a stunning view?  I'm set for a weekend of Ritchie.

4. Sitting in Nicca's yard in the sun with every one of my girls, painting our fingernails and drinking berry mojitos.  Non-stop girl talk and super babes left right and centre.

5. Riding my bike down the Cawston bike corridor, through city park, and then down the Abbott bike corridor to get to work.  I am obsessed with bike paths set apart from the road.  They look so good and there aren't cars to crash into and they get people out on their bikes!  I love my bike one hundy.

6. Doing the splits in yoga on Thursday.

7. Crying and snuggling and holding out sparklers at Bon Iver.  Finding out later all my girls cried.  I really admire a singer who can make an emotional song feel real and present and current instead of like something they wrote four years ago and have sung thousands of times since.  See Yeah Yeah Yeahs, the. 

8. Every brief moment in the sun.  We've fought hard for our sun this summer, and I feel like the weather owes us a break for more than a day.  Nonetheless, I've had a few sun-drenched afternoons standing in the garden eating strawberries and thinking about the weeds.  I love the sun.


What are your all-star summer moments so far?

bon cryver.

the tourism industry could really use a girl like me

I had a lot of time on my hands this weekend, so instead of learning to knit or make picture frames or whatever I made up a bunch of puns.  I'm really useful.  Anyways, I'm thinking about opening up a chain of hotels and things.

B&Beats: serving the original breakfast rap.

Motell it on the mountain: affordably priced accommodation on the ski slope.  Killer jingle, too.

Mo'telephone, mo' problems: motel chain catering almost exclusively to Amish customers.

Hotell a friend: appeals to the sassy urban crowd.

the INNer Sanctum: has gathered something of a cult following.

I've got a feel inn: always there to lend a helping hand.


Come on, SOMEONE has to find these funny.  Right?!!?!  I was laughing out loud on my bike.

this is probably b&beats, where hiphop and ihop meet in the middle.

she's back

been rapping super easy like a lay-up
been talking to kanyeezy, he's like 'hey sup'
in competing been repeating that shit is old news
don't need no rival, i'm getting page views
i'm my own fly gal, i don't need your advice
send me money pay-pal; scotch. on. ice.

i'm that super steezy redhead with the tomgirl ease
surrounded by my chicas, bitches straight up g's
guys tryna talk at me and I'm like oh please
covergirl beauty like easy breezy breeze

lay it on me get up on me who you gonna be
i'm a maneatin ladykillin creature of the sea
i'm talkin mermaid all day, fresh style, so cray
i mean all night get play, don't stay, walk away

can you keep up i mean for real
tryna sleep on me well no deal
gotta trash all these hearts that i steal
you think you can feel what i feel?
tough luck i'm a girl made of steel.

so signing out signing up watching my back
i got bitches all sides of me rack by rack
rob sash jess nic these ladies won't crack
under pressure like queen bees on mack

so watch yourself and watch out for me
cuz i know my shit like a-b-c
i'll be back again with more adrenaline,
speed and grace and a beautiful face.

on a scale of 1-10, this post ranks somewhere between awesome and mortifying.

I was like

I'm 22 and most of my friends are single.  This means I'm constantly watching relationships form around me, get defined and redefined, fall apart, and start over.  One platitude keeps coming back to me as I type it into text after text: you can't have your cake and eat it too.  No matter what, you just don't get it both ways.  It might seem like it for a while, but it never works out in the end.  Here are some examples I've compiled for you, some to do with relationships and some just about life.  And no, mom, these aren't all about me.

-you don't get to break his heart by telling him you're never gonna love him, but still run to his arms for affection when your lonely drunk self needs it.
-you don't get to turn him down when he asks you on a date, but keep texting him and facebooking him non-stop.
-you don't get to eat Denny's cuz you're a drunk silly sally so cute with your hashbrowns and then be upset at your belly that just won't flatten out regardless of your perfect bootcamp attendance record.
-you don't get to break up with a boy and still keep being his parents' fave girl.
-you don't get to feel sorry for yourself because no one is paying any attention to you, but then also glare at everyone because they're not paying any attention to you.
-you don't get to turn boys down when they pursue you but get annoyed when they don't.


Any other suggestions for the list?

rules 1-9

Sometimes I think it's best if I make rules for myself.  You guys already saw my list of things I want to do this summer.  This list is different, more a way of being me and a way to go about being me and being happy at the same time.  You guys should probably all make a list of the same, yeah?  Be honest with yourself!  Here's mine:

1. I don't do it if I don't feel one hundy about it.
2. I'm okay without being sparkly.
3. I'm okay with being tall.
4. I'm quiet.
5. I'm better than this.
6. I'm kind to myself/I don't hurt myself.
7. I go to yoga.
8. Sugar is the enemy.
9. I experience new things.


I think if it were possibly possible for me to follow all of these all the time I'd be a perfect peach of happiness.  Sadly rules are made for breaking and often, for forgetting.  I'm going to try to supersede that old platitude though and live my rules.  I'm going to be better off for them.  Call me out if you catch me breaking them, ladies!

What are your rules?

sky blue perfect waves

This is the summer of yes. This is the summer of who the eff cares. This is the summer of telling people you like them, of staying up all night on the beach, of lazy sangria afternoons.

I've realized that this is quite possibly my last summer in my hometown, which is itself a glorious monument to the worship of summer and sun. We've got beaches and a lake and mountains and patios and wineries and gloriously long days. We've got music festivals and bike lanes and a seriously bumping summer party scene. Really, this last summer of mine here needs to be one of celebration and sun worship at the altar of the Okanagan. With that in mind, I've created a list of goals and plans for the summer. Are you in my girl army? Consider yourself included in these, if you are.

 1. Mean Vagina Bites needs to sing at Karaoke, okay? We'll squeeze some Yeah Yeah Yeahs or MIA in between all the Carrie Underwood and AC/DC. Let's make this girl band a reality, babies!

 2. I need to have at least five potluck champagne brunches. Girl team, assemble!

 3. I'm going to tell all the boys I like that I like them. (Yes, I might be boy crazy, but have you met my friends? Jesi/Nicca/Rob/Sashka.)

 4. I'm going to swim in the lake ten million times. Can it be sunny already?

 5. I'm finally going to be able to do full camel.

 6. I'm going to write my number on someone's arm. Always keep a pen in your bag, smart girl!

 7. I'm going to make my own Kombucha. My amazing mama makes it for me usually (she's a peach) but I am an independent woman! I can ferment my own tea, dammit!

8. I'm going to be bold and be the quiet bright culture-vacuum shower-singing yogi that I am. I'm going to quit pretending to be the sparkly party girl I sometimes try to be and instead be my own version of girl. Whatever, it's so lame to talk like this but I think it's really important. Quit aspiring to a vision of yourself that doesn't conform to who you actually are. Embrace your quirks, people.

 9. I'm going to read 10,000 novels. This is easy, I'm the biggest nerd. I love reading.

10. Finally, I'm going to do everything that Kelowna has to offer. I'm talking every single beach, late nights in every neighborhood, winery tours, carmelli's, my birthday (SNAKE JUICE), long bike rides through orchard country, eating cherries straight from the tree, drinking iced cherry hill coffee, sitting in Robyn's yard all day long, cute outfits for lunch downtown, trips to share, painting my fingernails with all my girls (like always), mad mango x 500, and sitting on someone's roof gettin' swervy.

 So. Let's make it happen, kittens. Join me in one of these things or all of them. Suggest a new goal or an addition to número dix. I love you!

lazy sunday

I might secretly like mild hangovers.  It's kind of the best when you get to spend the day watching 500 movies and deploring your best friend for having a job.  Jobs are the worrssstttt.  (Spoiler: I have a job, too. I just don't usually work on weekends.)

Here are the best things to do on these kinds of days.

1. Watch a whole season of your favourite show.  I recommend parks and recreation.  I'm obsessed.

2. Drink 10,000 cups of coffee.

3. Look out the window, consider going for a hike, don't.

4. Creep attractive semi-strangers on facebook.

5. Text everyone you know about your bruises from last night.  Everyone loves a good bruise.

6. Lie in your yard on a blanket and read a silly book.

7. Look at handsome boys with beards on tumblr.  I just discovered tumblr like an old lady and that shit is weirdly addictive.

8. Do laundry.  Laundry is strangely meditative.  I wash my clothing in sparkly pink body wash that smells like raspberries and sugar and cotton candy and then everything is like pretty fairies.

9. Write mildly embarrassing blog posts.  Wonder how to spell embarrassing.  Use spell check.

10. Contemplate your favourite colour.  Sometimes it's forest green, and sometimes it's charcoal grey, and then I'm having this phase with pastels.  My life is like, really hard.  I have so many decisions to make all the time!

11. Look at all of my favourite things:

just kidding

Okay, so that decision vision didn't go as planned. 

Update: I'm going to UVic.

:)

live a lush life

my favourite hippies

this photo is by beautiful ally of synergylyfe.wordpress.com!

ts eliot

All victoria all the time, people.  Ah, and so things change in the blink of an eye.

decision vision

Hola! To start off, it's worth noting that I'm in a better mood than I was last time I posted. As a particularly astute* reader noted, I wasn't at my happiest. As I've noted before, crappy poetry probably means :( while exclamation marks and emoticons are the silly signs of me at my brightest. Anyways, I'm back in action and I'm sorry for subjecting you to my cloudy mood.

Life decisions! They're tough, even for the most decisive of us (me, usually). As most of you know, I've been planning to head to Halifax to attend Dalhousie University's Schulich School of Law in the fall. I have an apartment and roommates planned out, and I just dropped my lease in the mail late Monday night. Then I got a phone call.

UVic had initially been my first choice school, but they broke my heart in the winter by choosing to waitlist me rather than offer me admission. It took a while to get over, but I eventually got excited about attending the equally well-ranked Dalhousie, a school that offered me both early admission and a small scholarship. Dalhousie wanted me, UVic didn't. It was that simple.

Well, as of Wednesday afternoon, it wasn't so simple anymore. Yes, UVic called me to offer me a spot. I knew they were going to call eventually - my LSAT and grades are above their entrance average and I know I'm a good candidate. I just thought it would be August before I heard, and that by that time it would be too much bother to change schools. But no, they called me yesterday, and now I have until tonight to decide.

So what should I do? Dalhousie means adventure and independence. The distance from home means I'll be forced to do things for myself instead of relying on a support network. That support network is definitely in place in Victoria. My older brother and his doll of a girlfriend live there, as do many of my friends. I've lived in Victoria in the past, and I know and love the city. Isn't that kind of a crutch, though? While safety nets are well and good for your standard circus act, sometimes you need to be the one tight-rope walking across Niagara Falls.  I think I'm ready for something new and daring and honestly kind of terrifying.

So. When I started this post I didn't know which I wanted. Writing about it, as always, has helped clarify things in my mind. Don't worry Dal, I'm coming for you. Or maybe you should worry.

*by astute I mean sexually attractive

six ways

today i'm a desert
my veins are full of sand
my heart is full of smoke

i'm drying from the inside out
hanging in the wind
& no one has been here in a thousand years

i'm scraping by
& thinking too much about
six ways to nothing.